Being single mother dating

24 Aug

The second time it occurred was years later, when my husband and I divorced.

How ironic that two different life choices and paths would lead me to the same status; that of a black single mother.

It had been a long time since I viewed myself as an individual rather than a wife or a mother. I was no longer looking for someone to complete my life – that role belonged to my daughter.

Instead, I wanted someone to join us and add to our happiness.

It goes to show a woman can become a single mother through various journeys, such as adoption or death, separation or divorce.

However, my divorce was almost expected, as I was a product of it.

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“Swiping apps shouldn’t be your screening process for dates,” says Dr.

One thing parenting doesn’t make easy though, it dating.

You read books on how to give birth and how to breastfeed, but learning how to date when you have a child seems much more complicated.

You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus. When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him. A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness. But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife. Oh, that’s the story she’ll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say “I’m an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband’s life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me”. What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen?

But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring. A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife. Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life. When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw. Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit. Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage.